Hey Jealousy

There’s really only one major bad thing that’s happened in my relationship with Girlfriend.  I know we’ve only been dating 5+ months, but that’s seriously the only thing.

What Girlfriend did was make out with another girl.  In my bed.  It was a while ago, probably 4 months ago.

But I can’t seem to get over it.  The girl she made out with is (supposedly) straight, and they were both very very drunk.  That was a night that four girls consumed an entire fifth of Jose Cuervo in my apartment.  But I still can’t get over it.

We’ve talked about it.  A lot.  Even still. For a while I thought I’d moved on.  I didn’t mind them.

But then Girlfriend and her Drunken Make-out talked about how awkward it was for them that they’d made out.  Now they’re great friends.

And I’m incredibly jealous.

The most difficult part is that I can’t explain to people why I hate Drunken Make-out, least of all her.  I have to pretend to be nice.  I shouldn’t hate her, but I do.

(For those who don’t read this blog, which is everyone, Girlfriend and I are not openly a couple.  I’m also not supposed to know that Girlfriend and Drunken Make-out made out.  Girlfriend told me, but DMO doesn’t know I know.)

Now I feel like every minor fight stems from my jealousy over this other person.

I realize how ridiculous it is to be jealous.  But every time Girlfriend speaks about DMO in any way that isn’t hateful, I get jealous.
I can’t even take jokes about them. I hate the thought of them being alone together.

And I want to thing that I’m ridiculous and silly for feeling like this.  But I know that if I really thought it was ridiculous, I would be able to convince myself not to feel this way.  I just want to think it’s ridiculous.

Hopefully it’ll wear off soon.  Or DMO will transfer schools.


1 Comment

Filed under Girlfriend, Things I don't like about Myself, What Now?

One response to “Hey Jealousy

  1. sskate

    For the record, this was not the angry post I mentioned in the previous post. This one is new. But still negative, which seems inappropriate after just writing an anti-negative-posts post.

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