I Didn’t Realize Even Breakups Could Cost Me Money

So, I girlfriend broke up about a week ago, got back together, then I broke up with her again, and then we got back together for a few tumultuous days.  Then this afternoon she asked if we could just be friends.

What could I do?

I went to the grocery store to get the mandatory break-up Doritos, fashion magazine, and lemonade to mix my vodka with.

But, because nothing at all in my life can go right, my debit card decided not to work.  Even when we typed in the numbers.  There’s money in my account, I checked before I went.  More than enough to cover the $10 I spent at the grocery store.

So I, after several attempts by multiple people to make my card work, had to go home to get cash.  Of course I never have cash, so I stole some money from my sister. But don’t worry, faithful readers, I’ll return it.  Hopefully before she even realizes it’s gone.  Unethical, but whatevs.

Did I mention that I live in a small town, so I knew three our of the four people who tried to help me?

It’s so embarrassing to not even be able to buy your own breakup necessities.

But at this point I’m drunk enough I don’t reeeeeeaaaaaallllllllllyyyyy care.  Although I have a feeling I won’t want to go to the grocery store for a few days.

And I’ll have to figure out why my card isn’t working. Fuck.

(And thank god for spell check.)

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Filed under Accidentally Awkward, Constant money problems, Girlfriend, Let the Lameness Roll, Where I live

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