You read the title. Now think about if you really want to read this one.
Think hard about it.
Thought about it?
Well, here goes.
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with cramps from that always-pleasant monthly visitor (sarcasm). Aunt Flo was in town. Painters and decorators were visiting. I don’t really know any other cute euphemisms. Best Friend’s significant other calls it dancing, but I like to dance for real, so that could easily get confusing.
Anyways, I made my sleep-drunk way to the bathroom, only to find that I was dangerously close to out of toilet paper. Like, five sheets close.
Not a good time to be living on the edge.
I’m going to spare any details here, so I’ll just say that I made do with what I had, got the situation under control, and went back to sleep.
This morning when I woke up, I went in search of toilet paper. In an effort to save money this semester, I haven’t been buying toilet paper. I’ve been stealing it from my university. The library is usually a good place to score some toilet paper.
For the record, I steal whole rolls, I don’t just take a few sheets at a time. I’m not that weird.
But right now I’m sitting in the library’s main computer lab with a stolen roll of toilet paper in my bag. I’m a little terrified I’m going to be caught. But what would they really do? And why would they search my bag? Hopefully they won’t. We’ll see.