This Post Will Contain Oversharing, Promise

You read the title. Now think about if you really want to read this one.

Think hard about it.

Thought about it?

Well, here goes.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with cramps from that always-pleasant monthly visitor (sarcasm). Aunt Flo was in town. Painters and decorators were visiting. I don’t really know any other cute euphemisms. Best Friend’s significant other calls it dancing, but I like to dance for real, so that could easily get confusing.

Anyways, I made my sleep-drunk way to the bathroom, only to find that I was dangerously close to out of toilet paper. Like, five sheets close.

Not a good time to be living on the edge.

I’m going to spare any details here, so I’ll just say that I made do with what I had, got the situation under control, and went back to sleep.

This morning when I woke up, I went in search of toilet paper. In an effort to save money this semester, I haven’t been buying toilet paper. I’ve been stealing it from my university. The library is usually a good place to score some toilet paper.

For the record, I steal whole rolls, I don’t just take a few sheets at a time. I’m not that weird.

But right now I’m sitting in the library’s main computer lab with a stolen roll of toilet paper in my bag. I’m a little terrified I’m going to be caught. But what would they really do? And why would they search my bag? Hopefully they won’t. We’ll see.

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Filed under I'm making fun of me, It's my fault I'm so goddamn awkward

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