I went to a party Tuesday night. It’s finals week, and there are never finals scheduled for Wednesday, so of course 80 percent of the school uses that night to get wasted.
I went to this party. First awkward moment of the evening: I wore this really great vintage dress. The bad part is, the built-in bra is very strange and old and lumpy, and after I’ve been drinking a while I typically end up walking around making people feel my breasts. Yet I still wore it, knowing this might happen.
Second awkward moment: When I got to the party, they put in a DVD of porn bloopers. I’ve seen porn before, several times, and been fine, but this was gross porn. We’re talking sheer thong swimsuits, long fingernails, and 80’s hair. I was mildly disgusted. Also, I apparently have a lot of expression in my face when I watch movies. Sometimes Best Friend watches my face instead of the movie because it’s more entertaining. At one point while the movie was in, someone yelled out, “Look at Sarah Scott’s face!”
I left the room after the first blooper was over.
Third awkward moment of the night: I was leaving a later party to go to a dance party at a frat house with a group of friends. While we were waiting on someone in the group, a guy came up to me and started talking to me. He seemed cool, and I was getting gay vibes from him. Of course, my gay radar is terrible, and I was quite drunk at this point, so I really shouldn’t have trusted it. But because he seemed cool and extremely unlikely to make a move on me, I invited him along.
Turns out I was wrong. We were at the party about 10 minutes when he started grinding on me. Despite having seen me kiss on somebody else a few minutes prior.
Yeah, my life is awkward.