Category Archives: Where I live

So It’s Been a While…

It’s been a long, long while.  Things have happened in my life.  Well, I guess nothing too exciting.  I spent about a year on a hippie ranch in Arkansas.  That was pretty awesome.  Curly-haired crush is now curly-haired girlfriend.  So, yeah.  I plan to get back in the swing of things.  Now I’m living in small-town Missouri again.  I work for a radio station.

More to follow…


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Filed under Decisions, Where I live, Working

Crash, Bang, Ouch

Late last night, very soon after I had finally fallen asleep, I awoke to a huge crashing sound.

After locating my glasses and making sure I hadn’t wet myself, I looked around for what could have caused the crash.

I don’t have many breakables in my apartment. I’m clumsy, and whenever I do bring something breakable in, it’s never long before I trip over, run into it, or try to use it for something other than the intended purpose and end up breaking it.

So I was of course confused about why something was making loud, scary noises in the middle of the night.

When I had gathered myself enough to actually look around, I realized that the window was no longer there. It was on the floor of my apartment.

This dialogue started running through my head:

What the fuck? It’s fucking three o’clock in the morning. I was actually asleep for once. God it’s cold. Something hurts. There’s broken glass, you idiot. Put some fucking shoes on, stupid. Why couldn’t it have done this when it was warm? I’m going to freeze to death tonight…

I tried to tape a blanket over the window, but I didn’t have any duct tape. I trudged around my apartment with my feet only half in the first pair of boots I could find. Could only find Scotch tape. Scotch tape does not work very well, turns out.

So I just gave up and climbed back into my now frost-like bed.

I didn’t even bother cleaning up the glass.

Fortunately, I didn’t freeze to death.

And I called the landlord this morning, the window should be fixed by the time I’m home. Or at least something will be up to keep me from freezing to death.

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Filed under Where I live


School started yesterday.

All my books are at my parent’s house, three hours away. Fuck.

I also found out this morning that, while living next to the Armory means you don’t have any weird neighbors to worry about, it also means you’ll wake up at 6:00am some days to the sound of the ROTC doing warm-ups.


On another note, it’s a very dear friend’s birthday tomorrow! In celebration, we’re planning on beginning to drink at 4:00 in the afternoon today.

Because that’s what classy people do.

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Filed under Celebrations, Good Times with good people, Where I live

Not Exactly What I Asked For…

Yesterday evening I was supposed to have a party in my new apartment.

Yesterday morning I asked my landlord to remove the unwanted couch that had been in the apartment when I moved in.

Yesterday afternoon I came home to find the now-completely-broken couch lying in a pile of sawdust in the middle of my living room, surrounded by power tools.

The party didn’t happen.

I still have a broken couch in my living room.

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Filed under What Now?, Where I live


I’m not very good at making friends.

I think it’s because I’m so awkward.

Even when I’m introduced to people, I get this overwhelming sense that they don’t like me.  Or they’re ambivalent towards me.

So for whatever reason, I don’t have a lot of friends.  Even fewer when I’m home for the summer. 

I have no friends withing a 20 mile radius of me right now.

It makes for an incredibly depressing summer.

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Filed under Lonely, My family, Things I don't like about Myself, Where I live

I swear I’m smarter than I look

I work at McDonald’s.  Drive-through girl. 

“Hi, may I help you?”

It’s the most frustrating job in the world.  Not because it’s a bad job, I’ve had much worse.  I really don’t mind it at all.

Except people who come through the drive-through assume that anyone who works there must be a complete idiot.

I’m inches away from a degree at one of the best schools in the Midwest (at least that’s what the propaganda they send out to prospective students says).

I think I’m reasonably intelligent.  Maybe even slightly above average.  But the people at McDonald’s don’t know this.

Usually their assumption of my stupidity is limited to subtle means such as telling me what their change should be when I take money, repeating the order to me when I obviously heard what they’d said, or just that look that seems to say oh, you work at McDonald’s.  I’m a hairdresser/construction worker/grocery store worker, I’m higher up on the social ladder than you.  Now take my order, loser.

Today I had two much more concrete incidents.

The first one happened on my break.  I was sitting there eating my salad doing the New York Times crossword puzzle.

An elderly lady came up to the newspaper racks next to where I was sitting and started ruffling through the papers that were there.

“Oh, you have the sports section.  That’s the one I like, it has the crossword puzzle in it.”

Then stared at me pointedly.

Ummmm…I’m obviously already doing it.  I only have a 30 minute break.  You can wait, bitch.

But, being the quality employee that I am (even on break), I handed over the paper.

“Are you looking for a new automobile?” she said (the classifieds are on the same page).

I have a pen in my hand, it’s folded so the classifieds are mostly covered up, and some of the spaces are filled in.  What do you think?

“No, I enjoy crossword puzzles, too,” I said.  She didn’t get it.

At least I found satisfaction in finding the other crossword puzzle published that day (not the New York Times, but at least a puzzle) and finishing it in under 20 minutes.

She only got 5 spaces filled in hers.  And I made sure to place mine where she could see it.

This one wasn’t so bad, because at least she had the excuse of being old.  Maybe she couldn’t see I was working on it.  Maybe she’s just senile.


The second incident happened while I was working in the drive-through.

A man with a very loud car was giving his order.  At the same time I was taking his order, I was counting back change for another customer and listening to instructions from my manager.

When I read back the man’s order to ensure it was correct, he said, “I’ll stop there so you can handle it.”  Or something like that.  Basically telling me I’m not smart enough to take his total order.

There was nothing I could do, I had to remain ridiculously polite.  So I ignored it, told him his total, and waited for him to pull around.

This guy was, I’d guess, about 17 years old, and just had that look of someone who wasn’t doing anything with his life.  Sometimes you can just tell.  And in this town, it’s usually a correct assumption. It’s not always true, but he had that look. 

I wonder if the fool even had a high school diploma.

God it’s frustrating to be considered stupid because of your summer job.  I just want to smack people sometimes.

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Filed under Constant money problems, Things I don't like about the World, Where I live

I Didn’t Realize Even Breakups Could Cost Me Money

So, I girlfriend broke up about a week ago, got back together, then I broke up with her again, and then we got back together for a few tumultuous days.  Then this afternoon she asked if we could just be friends.

What could I do?

I went to the grocery store to get the mandatory break-up Doritos, fashion magazine, and lemonade to mix my vodka with.

But, because nothing at all in my life can go right, my debit card decided not to work.  Even when we typed in the numbers.  There’s money in my account, I checked before I went.  More than enough to cover the $10 I spent at the grocery store.

So I, after several attempts by multiple people to make my card work, had to go home to get cash.  Of course I never have cash, so I stole some money from my sister. But don’t worry, faithful readers, I’ll return it.  Hopefully before she even realizes it’s gone.  Unethical, but whatevs.

Did I mention that I live in a small town, so I knew three our of the four people who tried to help me?

It’s so embarrassing to not even be able to buy your own breakup necessities.

But at this point I’m drunk enough I don’t reeeeeeaaaaaallllllllllyyyyy care.  Although I have a feeling I won’t want to go to the grocery store for a few days.

And I’ll have to figure out why my card isn’t working. Fuck.

(And thank god for spell check.)

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Filed under Accidentally Awkward, Constant money problems, Girlfriend, Let the Lameness Roll, Where I live