Tag Archives: Best Friend

Clumsy

Yesterday, I was in a book store with Best Friend.

We were of course browsing the sex book section.

And I saw one very interesting-looking book.

Unfortunately, when I pulled it off the shelf, several more books came with it.

They fell to the floor.

Them some more did.

And more.

And soon the whole shelf was on the floor.

Best Friend and I just stood there with slightly open mouths while this happened.

And then shoved all the books back on the shelf in no particular order and quickly slunk out of the store.

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It Was a Busy Night

I went to a party Tuesday night. It’s finals week, and there are never finals scheduled for Wednesday, so of course 80 percent of the school uses that night to get wasted.

I went to this party. First awkward moment of the evening: I wore this really great vintage dress. The bad part is, the built-in bra is very strange and old and lumpy, and after I’ve been drinking a while I typically end up walking around making people feel my breasts. Yet I still wore it, knowing this might happen.

Second awkward moment: When I got to the party, they put in a DVD of porn bloopers. I’ve seen porn before, several times, and been fine, but this was gross porn. We’re talking sheer thong swimsuits, long fingernails, and 80’s hair. I was mildly disgusted. Also, I apparently have a lot of expression in my face when I watch movies. Sometimes Best Friend watches my face instead of the movie because it’s more entertaining. At one point while the movie was in, someone yelled out, “Look at Sarah Scott’s face!”

I left the room after the first blooper was over.

Third awkward moment of the night: I was leaving a later party to go to a dance party at a frat house with a group of friends. While we were waiting on someone in the group, a guy came up to me and started talking to me. He seemed cool, and I was getting gay vibes from him. Of course, my gay radar is terrible, and I was quite drunk at this point, so I really shouldn’t have trusted it. But because he seemed cool and extremely unlikely to make a move on me, I invited him along.

Turns out I was wrong. We were at the party about 10 minutes when he started grinding on me. Despite having seen me kiss on somebody else a few minutes prior.

Yeah, my life is awkward.

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Comfortable Nudity

Last night, some people came over to my apartment to drink peppermint schnapps-laced hot chocolate and do homework.

I have no control over the heat in my place, so it was rather warm with that many people.

We all ended up walking around without our shirts on.

The surprising thing is, it wasn’t awkward at all.

I’m kind of amazed. I usually get uncomfortable at any kind of nudity (other than my relatives, but that’s another story), but this group was so casual about it, it wasn’t an issue.

It’s great to have found people I click with so well.

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Another Weekend of Uncomfortable Moments

Visited a nearby town this weekend with Best Friend.  It was full of mildly awkward  moments.

First of all, I ran into the person mentioned in this post.

Then, Best Friend and I went into a sandwich shop to use the restroom. It was awkward enough telling the sandwich-maker person that I was only there to use the restroom, but while waiting for Best Friend to get out of the restroom, I knocked over the wet floor sign.

The sandwich-maker laughed and watched me while I tried to set it back up, then asked me to move it to another part of the floor, presumably because it would be more difficult for me to run into it over there.

After setting the sign back up, I rushed into the bathroom and dashed out of the shop as fast as I could without making a bigger fool of myself.

Later on, Best Friend and I were looking for somewhere to eat. We browsed the available restaurants for a while, and then saw a bar-type place that had a sign clearly stating “Lunch Served All Day.”

We got carded as we went in. Best Friend isn’t of drinking age yet, so the bouncer looked at his I.D., looked puzzled, and then said, “Well, just don’t drink.” It also happened to be 2 o’clock in the afternoon, not exactly prime getting-wasted hours.

We went in, and nobody looked at us. We decided to go up to the deck because the weather was nice. On the second floor, there were several servers around, but we still didn’t get any service. We sat down, waited for several minutes, and still nobody approached us. After feeling increasingly awkward about the situation, Best Friend and I decided to leave. We slunk out, being very careful to avoid eye contact with the bouncer we’d interacted with not ten minutes ago, and walked down the street to find somewhere else to eat.

We never found a place to eat; instead we met up with Best Friend’s parents and went shopping.

We were very hungry by the time we got home.

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Filed under Accidentally Awkward, Awkward Moments, It's my fault I'm so goddamn awkward

Because I Love Zer

Best Friend kidnapped me and took me to a meeting for an organization I used to be in. And sort of am still a part of.  The notes below, typed to each other throughout the course of the meeting, demonstrate why I love zer so much. And (fake) married zer.

jvm,y cf, gjI LOVE YOUS

I LOVE YOU’

I WANT TO MARRY (woman in organization I have a crush on).

‘FUCK THTA SHIT, HOU RE MRARRIED TO ME. ALSO, i ANT HER SHE IS SO AWESOME. i THINK WE’RE GOING TO BE BEST FRINEDS.

NOT IF SHE STEALS YOUR WIFE

FUCK YOU, SARAH SCOTT.

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Cocktail Party

On Saturday night, Best Friend held a cocktail party.

It was pretty fabulous.

Even if I did get a little drunk.  Okay, a lot drunk.

At one point, the lady I’m crushing on and I ended up in the bathroom at the same time.  Best Friend nearly broke down the door trying to get in because ze was afraid we were having sex (we weren’t).

At one point, ze even shouted “Are you guys having pee sex!?” (We’d recently watched this episode of The L Word.)

Later on, my ex showed up.  Best Friend then encouraged my crush and I to make out in front of her.  Which we did.  I’m not typically one for making out in public, but I had about half of a fifth of vodka in me at this point, so there was making out.  Oh, was there making out.

And then Mother-Figure Friend yelled at us.  And thoughtfully took our drinks out of our hands so we didn’t spill.

It was fantastic.

And so fabulous.

But soooooo awkward.

(Also, for those who don’t know, ze is a gender-neutral pronoun.  Best Friend is genderqueer.  And totally amazing.)

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