Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 23. I was stuck spending most of the day with family, as usual. It’s what happens when your birthday falls between Christmas and New Years. And your parents can’t even begin to understand why you might not want to spend every second of every day with them.
Anyways, in my own personal form of rebellion, I borrowed a dress from my sister. This isn’t particularly rebellious, except that my sister is a good 5 inches shorter than me. And the dress was already a little short on her. Which meant this dress ended just below my crotch.
I couldn’t bend over.
I was wearing tights, but those only do so much for you.
The most ridiculous part of the day was when I had to get something out of my car. In a very busy parking lot.
A lot of people got a show.
Because I’m classy.
I look like a total bum today.
But it was a conscious decision.
I woke up, and I saw the dress I’d laid out the night before, which is very June Cleaver-esque. I even have pearls.
Then I saw the baggy jeans and hiking sandals lying where I’d thrown them the night before.
It was one of those mornings. I needed to wear the jeans.
So I found a reasonably clean shirt, changed my underwear, and have been hobo-ing it up ever since.
Potential’s only there until you live up to it, you know?
I want to keep my wardrobe potential going.
Today I wore a dress to class. Not a big deal, I wear skirts all the time.
Except I was already in class before I realized that this dress has a tendency to ride up when I sit down.
And, unfortunately, I have to sit the entire time I’m in class.
I got to my first class, a statistics class, and sat just like I would on any normal day. I then realized my skirt, which had been just above me knees while I was standing, was inches away from giving my professor a glimpse of something he’s not supposed to see.
I tugged it down as far as it would go, which wasn’t as far as I would like (something about the cut of the dress), and made sure I was sitting as non-suggestively as possible.
In my second class, I was careful not to flash my crotch as I slid into my seat. Unfortunately, once I was already sitting, I realized that my cheek was only barely covered.
I’m really hoping this unintentional scandal will only help my grades and not give me a bad reputation.
I’m telling myself nobody noticed.
I also still haven’t changed, which would have probably been a smart thing to do, but I don’t want to be boring, you know?