Tag Archives: Crushin’

Overly Obsessed With Harry Potter

I just wanted to share the conversation I had via text messaging with a good friend/former roommate the other day while I was at work.

It’s about Harry Potter.  Here it is. Verbatim.

Me: Oh my god there are Weasley look-a-likes in the restaurant! The one who looks like the twins even has on a striped scarf!

Former roommate: KIDNAP THEM FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!

FR: But he has glasses, so maybe he’s more of a Percy.  The kid with him is totally a Charlie.  And I will try to kidnap them; they’re very tall!

FR: Percy was taller than the twins!

Me: Totally a Percy, then. I want them!

Me: I’m creepily staring at them. Decided it’s Percy and a cross between Ron and Charlie.

FR: Just ask the parents if you can have them!

Me: No parents around. Percy looks our age and they’re out on a brother-date! So fucking cute.


Me: I can’t just go up to Percy Weasley and ask him on a date for you!

FR: …Yes you can!!!!!

Me: Oh my god he even does the looking over the rim of his glasses thing I pictured Percy doing when he was a prefect!

FR: PLEEEEEEEEEEASE! unless charlie is near our age. Then him.

Me: The more I stalk him the more Ron he becomes.

Me: Ron is about half a foot taller than Percy.  But looks about 17. Percy looks in his early 20s.

FR: But I want ron!

Me: I think he’s talking about a college course now. He may be at least 18.

Me: Spoiler alert: they don’t have British accents.

FR: Did you ask them out for me?

Me: No. I’m sorry…

FR: Our friendship is over.

Me: I’m sorry. But you can’t just go up to the Weasleys and ask them out!



Three hours later…

FR:  Still mad at you.

Me: Sorry…

FR: It’s too late to apologize…

Me: I’m so sorry. Celebrities intimidate me.

FR: Jerk!

The next day, after me telling her I’m (joke) mad at her about something…

FR: Listen. I’m still mad about the Weasley incident.

Me: I’m sorry. Maybe I’ll see them again.

FR: If you see them again and don’t ask them out for me this friendship is OVER!

Me: I’ll never let a Weasley look-a-like pass by without me harassing them again!

FR: I’m glad you’ve learnt your lesson.


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Filed under Good Times with good people, I'm making fun of me, It's my fault I'm so goddamn awkward, Let the Lameness Roll, So Damn Excited, The Opposite of Romance

It’s Like Christmas…With Sex Involved

My crush is coming to town this weekend.

I’m probably more excited than is reasonable.

But she’s really cute. And sexy. And classy.

And every time I realize just how close it is until she’s here, I do this nerdy little dance/hop.

Which is really embarrassing when I happen to be in public.

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Filed under So Damn Excited


Yesterday there was a knock on my apartment door.

I went to answer it, figuring it would be the person Best Friend had invited over.

When I opened the door, it was a strange man holding a bouquet.

I panicked a little, until he said, “Delivery for Sarah?”

He wasn’t a creepy stalker, he worked for a flower shop.

And somebody likes me!

I opened the card.

The flowers were from my curly-haired crush.

So I did a nerdy little dance around my apartment.

And she got major points with me.

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Filed under Simple Happy

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Filed under Awkward Moments, Celebrations, The Opposite of Romance


I’m crushing on a boy right now. Considering I’m about 85% lesbian, this is unexpected.

But so nice.

Also, I just logged onto Facebook, and I have two page suggestions: one for celery, and one for “Chest Bacon.” And a request to be a Sexy Santa Helper…sent to me from one of my mother’s friends.

That does not leave a good taste in my mouth.

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Filed under It's my fault I'm so goddamn awkward

Another Weekend of Uncomfortable Moments

Visited a nearby town this weekend with Best Friend.  It was full of mildly awkward  moments.

First of all, I ran into the person mentioned in this post.

Then, Best Friend and I went into a sandwich shop to use the restroom. It was awkward enough telling the sandwich-maker person that I was only there to use the restroom, but while waiting for Best Friend to get out of the restroom, I knocked over the wet floor sign.

The sandwich-maker laughed and watched me while I tried to set it back up, then asked me to move it to another part of the floor, presumably because it would be more difficult for me to run into it over there.

After setting the sign back up, I rushed into the bathroom and dashed out of the shop as fast as I could without making a bigger fool of myself.

Later on, Best Friend and I were looking for somewhere to eat. We browsed the available restaurants for a while, and then saw a bar-type place that had a sign clearly stating “Lunch Served All Day.”

We got carded as we went in. Best Friend isn’t of drinking age yet, so the bouncer looked at his I.D., looked puzzled, and then said, “Well, just don’t drink.” It also happened to be 2 o’clock in the afternoon, not exactly prime getting-wasted hours.

We went in, and nobody looked at us. We decided to go up to the deck because the weather was nice. On the second floor, there were several servers around, but we still didn’t get any service. We sat down, waited for several minutes, and still nobody approached us. After feeling increasingly awkward about the situation, Best Friend and I decided to leave. We slunk out, being very careful to avoid eye contact with the bouncer we’d interacted with not ten minutes ago, and walked down the street to find somewhere else to eat.

We never found a place to eat; instead we met up with Best Friend’s parents and went shopping.

We were very hungry by the time we got home.

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Filed under Accidentally Awkward, Awkward Moments, It's my fault I'm so goddamn awkward

You know the song “Smooth Operator”? That’s definitely not about me.

This weekend, in typical failing fashion, I had someone interested in me. I had the chance to make out with an extremely attractive young lady.

And I blew it.

Because I have no social skills.

Nothing dramatic happened, I just never made a move. And then spilled Taco Bell all over myself.

I’m not smooth.

Some people are silk, I’m gravel. Seriously, that smooth.

However, a friend compared me to communism and fascism. How they’re so different they’re almost similar. Maybe I’m so smooth, I’m not smooth.

Probably not really so.

Not at all.

Maybe next time she’s in town I won’t blow it.

But let’s be honest, I’m possibly the most awkward person alive. I probably will blow it.

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Filed under Awkward Moments, The Opposite of Romance