Tag Archives: getting checked out

Future Dating Possibility?

So I seem to attract mentally ill people.

I’m not sure. Curly-haired crush told me it’s because my mother works with special ed students, so I just know how to interact with them.

Well, for whatever reason, I was asked on a date by a 50-year-old mentally ill man at work today.

Basically, he started out trying to figure out when I work.

I politely turned him down by telling him I close every night this week.

Later on I came by to see if he needed a refill.

“Sara, would it make a difference if I had a quarter of a million dollars? What would you think of that?”

Um, no. You’re old enough to be my father.

“Well, I’m happy for you.”

“Okay.”

Later on his best friend came into the restaurant. I asked him how he was, and said he was fine, but his friend was down because he’d been rejected by a girl.

After realizing the girl he was upset about was me, I told the friend to pass on the message that it’s nothing personal, I’m just already seeing someone.

Poor guy.

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Filed under Awkward Moments

Short Skirts are Dangerous

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 23. I was stuck spending most of the day with family, as usual. It’s what happens when your birthday falls between Christmas and New Years. And your parents can’t even begin to understand why you might not want to spend every second of every day with them.

Anyways, in my own personal form of rebellion, I borrowed a dress from my sister. This isn’t particularly rebellious, except that my sister is a good 5 inches shorter than me. And the dress was already a little short on her. Which meant this dress ended just below my crotch.

I couldn’t bend over.

I was wearing tights, but those only do so much for you.

The most ridiculous part of the day was when I had to get something out of my car. In a very busy parking lot.

A lot of people got a show.

Because I’m classy.

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Filed under Accidentally Awkward, I'm making fun of me

It Was a Busy Night

I went to a party Tuesday night. It’s finals week, and there are never finals scheduled for Wednesday, so of course 80 percent of the school uses that night to get wasted.

I went to this party. First awkward moment of the evening: I wore this really great vintage dress. The bad part is, the built-in bra is very strange and old and lumpy, and after I’ve been drinking a while I typically end up walking around making people feel my breasts. Yet I still wore it, knowing this might happen.

Second awkward moment: When I got to the party, they put in a DVD of porn bloopers. I’ve seen porn before, several times, and been fine, but this was gross porn. We’re talking sheer thong swimsuits, long fingernails, and 80’s hair. I was mildly disgusted. Also, I apparently have a lot of expression in my face when I watch movies. Sometimes Best Friend watches my face instead of the movie because it’s more entertaining. At one point while the movie was in, someone yelled out, “Look at Sarah Scott’s face!”

I left the room after the first blooper was over.

Third awkward moment of the night: I was leaving a later party to go to a dance party at a frat house with a group of friends. While we were waiting on someone in the group, a guy came up to me and started talking to me. He seemed cool, and I was getting gay vibes from him. Of course, my gay radar is terrible, and I was quite drunk at this point, so I really shouldn’t have trusted it. But because he seemed cool and extremely unlikely to make a move on me, I invited him along.

Turns out I was wrong. We were at the party about 10 minutes when he started grinding on me. Despite having seen me kiss on somebody else a few minutes prior.

Yeah, my life is awkward.

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Filed under Awkward Moments, Celebrations, Good Times with good people

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Filed under Awkward Moments, Celebrations, The Opposite of Romance

Narcissism

So, I’ve recently had some Facebook pictures posted. The weird thing is, they’re pretty decent photos of me.

And I’m attracted to myself in them.

I didn’t even know that was possible.

There was one where I just went, “Man, look at those boobs.”

I’m such an odd person sometimes.

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Filed under Celebrations, I'm making fun of me, My Weird Moods, Things I don't like about Myself

The Man in the Hallway

I got flirted with by an older man the other day. More than flirted. I don’t even know. Here’s what happened:

I was leaving my apartment. The door across the hall from me opened and out walked a man in his mid-thirties, on a cell phone.

I don’t have anything against people in their mid-thirties. It’s just that I’m only 22, and I want them to stay away from me and closer to people their own age.

He gave me the up-and-down (very obviously) and proceeded down the hallway. I stopped to lock my door, then proceeded down the hall myself.

The man was stopped at the top of the outside stairs. I walked by, and received another up and down.

When I was halfway down the stairs, he got off the phone and said to me, “I know you’re taken, right?”

Me, never having mastered the art of lying, said, “No, I’m single.”

And then in my head: Fuck fuck fuck just learn to fucking lie say you have a giant football-player boyfriend or pull the lesbian card.

I did neither. I just continued.

Then he spoke again.

“Can I visit you sometime?”

He knew where I lived. I asked if he lived across the hall, and it was just a friend of his. But my questions didn’t distract him.

“So can I visit you sometime?”

“Um, I guess.”

Fuck fuck fuck just say no you idiot.

“Okay, see you around.”

Fuck my life. Now I’ve got a 30-something-year-old man who knows where I live and wants to bang me. I don’t know what to do.

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Filed under Chronically Single, The Opposite of Romance

Don’t check me out

Last night I was at work and I got checked out twice.

Once, this creepy, old, extremely overweight man came through the drive-through and gave me an obvious up-and-down with raised eyebrows. And I shuddered in disgust/embarrassment.

Why do creepy old men think it’s okay to do that? It’s not. You still don’t have a chance with me even if you look at me like I’m a piece of meat.

The second time was an awkward teenager.

As I walked across the parking lot, he was walking the other way. Apparently he did a full turn-around/up-and-down after we passed. I was completely unaware, but my friend working the window saw it and told me.

That scenario isn’t okay, either.

Don’t obviously check me out like that. I am not some object there for your viewing pleasure.

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Filed under Working