Tag Archives: Where I live

What a Creep.

I’m the creep in this scenario.

Big time.

Last night I had a bit to drink. Maybe a lot to drink.

The mayor of our town happened to be at this same bar.

And I’ve been on a really big Twitter kick.

I was drunk enough I’d get excited every time I saw the mayor.

So I tweeted about him every time I saw them.

It was a little stalker-ish. A lot stalker-ish.

And turns out he saw them. And responded. I’m a huge creep.

In the future, I’m never, ever, ever going near Twitter while drunk.

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Filed under Awkward Moments, I'm making fun of me, It's my fault I'm so goddamn awkward, Uncategorized, Under the Influence

Vampire? You?

So I’ve been on a major vampire kick lately.

I blame watching my first episodes ever of Buffy the Vampire Slayer all within a few days.

For the record, I don’t actually believe in vampires. I don’t think.

But that hasn’t stopped me from carrying a wooden stake around with me after dark. Even into the bar.

Or threatening both strangers and friends with it.

Or asking almost everyone I know if they’re a vampire.

Or closely monitoring the eating habits of my semi-nocturnal roommate.

People probably think I’m very strange.

It’s just you can never be too prepared.

Constant vigilance.

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Filed under I'm making fun of me, It's my fault I'm so goddamn awkward, My Strange Tendencies

Goddamn Snow

It snows here. A lot.

It snowed today. A lot.

I live downtown, and there’s not parking on any of the streets near my apartment during a “snow emergency”.

What the fuck? Where the hell am I supposed to leave my car?

The snow is at least to my ankles right now, I’m not walking back from some parking space in the middle of nowhere in that.

Motherfuckers.

I have to go move my car now.

I’ll keep you updated if I survive.

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Filed under Things I don't like about the World

More Naked

I suppose I should explain the family nudity comment from the previous post.

Basically, my family’s a bunch of nudists.  Not in the “live on a commune and be naked all the time” sort of way. Just when they’re in the house. But I doubt there has been one day I’ve been in that house where I haven’t seen a nude family member. Usually three or four, many times.

This probably has more to do with having six people in the house and only one bathroom than anything else, but it was my childhood. And adolescence. And now my summer breaks.

Despite being used to it, it gets a little uncomfortable. I’m sometimes worried because my house has huge windows and we definitely have neighbors.  And the room I share with my sister doesn’t have any curtains.

But who cares if the neighborhood thinks we’re crazy and weird. We know it’s not weird, it’s just a necessity.

All the neighbors are old, anyway, their eyesight’s probably bad enough they can’t see us.

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Filed under Awkward Moments

Crash, Bang, Ouch

Late last night, very soon after I had finally fallen asleep, I awoke to a huge crashing sound.

After locating my glasses and making sure I hadn’t wet myself, I looked around for what could have caused the crash.

I don’t have many breakables in my apartment. I’m clumsy, and whenever I do bring something breakable in, it’s never long before I trip over, run into it, or try to use it for something other than the intended purpose and end up breaking it.

So I was of course confused about why something was making loud, scary noises in the middle of the night.

When I had gathered myself enough to actually look around, I realized that the window was no longer there. It was on the floor of my apartment.

This dialogue started running through my head:

What the fuck? It’s fucking three o’clock in the morning. I was actually asleep for once. God it’s cold. Something hurts. There’s broken glass, you idiot. Put some fucking shoes on, stupid. Why couldn’t it have done this when it was warm? I’m going to freeze to death tonight…

I tried to tape a blanket over the window, but I didn’t have any duct tape. I trudged around my apartment with my feet only half in the first pair of boots I could find. Could only find Scotch tape. Scotch tape does not work very well, turns out.

So I just gave up and climbed back into my now frost-like bed.

I didn’t even bother cleaning up the glass.

Fortunately, I didn’t freeze to death.

And I called the landlord this morning, the window should be fixed by the time I’m home. Or at least something will be up to keep me from freezing to death.

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Filed under Where I live

School!

School started yesterday.

All my books are at my parent’s house, three hours away. Fuck.

I also found out this morning that, while living next to the Armory means you don’t have any weird neighbors to worry about, it also means you’ll wake up at 6:00am some days to the sound of the ROTC doing warm-ups.

Assholes.

On another note, it’s a very dear friend’s birthday tomorrow! In celebration, we’re planning on beginning to drink at 4:00 in the afternoon today.

Because that’s what classy people do.

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Filed under Celebrations, Good Times with good people, Where I live

More Apartment Building Shenanigans

So the guy from across the hall hit on me again.

Awwwwkward.

I casually slipped into the conversation that I like women, not men.

I’m not sure he picked up on it.

Fuck.

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Filed under Accidentally Awkward