I’m not very good at making friends.
I think it’s because I’m so awkward.
Even when I’m introduced to people, I get this overwhelming sense that they don’t like me. Or they’re ambivalent towards me.
So for whatever reason, I don’t have a lot of friends. Even fewer when I’m home for the summer.
I have no friends withing a 20 mile radius of me right now.
It makes for an incredibly depressing summer.
So, I was supposed to go home yesterday. I walked in my university’s commencement ceremony on Saturday (even though I’m not really graduating until August). I’m supposed to be home and searching for temporary jobs until I find out about more permanent stuff right now.
But I’m not.
My car decided to stop working yesterday. It’s about 12 years old, so it has minor problems pretty regularly. But yesterday was a really inconvenient time for this to happen.
So what’s happening is I’m staying in in the now-almost-empty town, just watching ridiculous amounts of trashy television. I’ve never seen Days of Our Lives before this week, but now I have. Twice.
The garage doesn’t have any openings until Friday morning. I dropped my car of today (which is Tuesday), with the hopes someone would cancel and they’d work it in.
But until then I’m going to keep hanging out at my apartment. To keep things interesting, I don’t know when my roommate arranged for the water and electricity for our apartment to be cut off. I run the faucet every time before I use the bathroom every time.
I’ve been drinking since 11:00 this morning. I’m playing drinking games to Jeopardy now. By myself. Because there is nobody I know left in town.
Oh my goodness. I don’t know what to do with myself.
I know it’s nerdy, but I intentionally started writing this post at 11:11 on Veteran’s Day. For those of you who missed 4th grade history, Veteran’s day is on the 11th day of the 11th month.
I’m not in the least bit superstitious, but I make wishes at 11:11 every night. And wish on the 11th is extra-powerful. I don’t expect them to happen, I don’t believe in anything like that at all, but it’s more like a “what the hell, why not?”
I know it’s ridiculous. Why waste my time making wishes I don’t believe in? But it’s something to do. Then, if it comes true, I’ll wonder if there is some kind of higher power. Then I’ll shake my head, roll my eyes, and chalk it all up to coincidence.
It’s not a search for a higher power. I came to terms with my lack of belief a long time ago.
I believe it’s just hope that what I want to come true, will come true. Corny, I know, but it’s just something I do.