The Weekend

I stopped whining and got out of here for the weekend. I went back to the town I go to college in. I stayed with one of my good friends who also was just broken up with. She’s as awkward as I am.

It was pretty amazing. We drank, and I did that awkward thing where I tell things I shouldn’t when I drink too much.

We put together furniture.

We watched 30 Rock.

And I’m so excited to go back there to live soon.

What’s with me?

I’m an emotional wreck today.  I was fine, but then I let things get to me.

Last night I made out with a boy.  Fine and dandy.  Kissing and groping and whatnot.

Stupidly, I sent ex-girlfriend a drunken text.

Haha.  Now I’ve kissed someone since we broke up, too.

She’s been dating someone since a week after we broke up.  Maybe less, she didn’t give me exact time frames.

I’ve been fine with the breakup lately.  It’s over, it happened.  I don’t regret that it happened anymore.  But that she’s dating someone else already just makes me feel like I was only a distraction for her.  She was just wasting her time with me until something better came along.

I’ve never had great self-esteem.  And this has sent it plummeting through the floor.

Then, to add insult to injury, today the conversation escalated and she called me a whore.  Repeatedly.

And tell me how amazing her new woman is.

There’s nothing about your personality that I like.

It just brings up all these insecurities that I don’t have a good personality.  I already feel like people don’t like me.  I have zero charisma.  But I try so hard to be a good person.  And I hope other people can see that, but I wonder so often.

And she’s made me question everything good about myself.

Broken up.

She broke my heart and doesn’t care.   She says she just fell out of love with me.   There’s noone I can talk to about it because the relationship was a secret.   I’m so fucking depressed. I hate her for ever coming into my life.

Breakups

She broke my heart and doesn’t care.

She says she just fell out of love with me.

There’s noone I can talk to about it because the relationship was a secret.

I’m so fucking depressed. I hate her for ever coming into my life.

I Didn’t Realize Even Breakups Could Cost Me Money

So, I girlfriend broke up about a week ago, got back together, then I broke up with her again, and then we got back together for a few tumultuous days.  Then this afternoon she asked if we could just be friends.

What could I do?

I went to the grocery store to get the mandatory break-up Doritos, fashion magazine, and lemonade to mix my vodka with.

But, because nothing at all in my life can go right, my debit card decided not to work.  Even when we typed in the numbers.  There’s money in my account, I checked before I went.  More than enough to cover the $10 I spent at the grocery store.

So I, after several attempts by multiple people to make my card work, had to go home to get cash.  Of course I never have cash, so I stole some money from my sister. But don’t worry, faithful readers, I’ll return it.  Hopefully before she even realizes it’s gone.  Unethical, but whatevs.

Did I mention that I live in a small town, so I knew three our of the four people who tried to help me?

It’s so embarrassing to not even be able to buy your own breakup necessities.

But at this point I’m drunk enough I don’t reeeeeeaaaaaallllllllllyyyyy care.  Although I have a feeling I won’t want to go to the grocery store for a few days.

And I’ll have to figure out why my card isn’t working. Fuck.

(And thank god for spell check.)